What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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