His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
my poor anus
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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