Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
