i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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