My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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