Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
