apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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