Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize