Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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