i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I understand Curling. That high.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
