Dual....:-)
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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