we have pet lesbian snakes
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
