you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
