So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
