I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
