ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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