I'm lost and stupid without you.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Are we still banned from the library?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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