I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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