So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize