I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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