Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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