There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
