life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This baby is an asshole
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
