My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
