your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
