We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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