Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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