I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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