I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
