Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Blood and glitter go together right?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
