people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
