if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
pop tarts are not kleenex
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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