i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
