haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
