1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
