do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
