You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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