how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
