I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We named our party play list daddy issues
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
