I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
my liver is dry heaving
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
