Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
did i walk over a car last night?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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