fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize