you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize