I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize