If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
