I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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