So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
