I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize