He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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