"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
