White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
