five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
